Well...that's more to do with the fact that there's only a few of us who have found this blog.
I don't really know how to work the settings on this site.....and I don't know how reliable the monitoring setting is....but...according to what I can see,there are now a few of us who are connecting on this.."Tim Carroll Show" page.
There appear to be a few of you friends..in the U.S. a few from Russia,somebody from Mexico..
and you'll have to please pardon me for forgetting where else.....to be honest with you,I'm not really sure that these figures are even true....as they were different a few days ago.
Perhaps I'm still only talking to myself ?? That's okay.....as I do a lot of that anyway.
Actually,considering that we are still only just getting to know each other,perhaps I'll tell you a little bit more about myself........ummm......ahhhhhh.........okay.....
Here is the first chapter of a little book that I never got around to finishing....
well actually I did finish it.....but it's too short to get published and also.....
it's all about me and my life experiences....and apart from..YOU and I (our top secret club)
no one else would probably be interested in reading it......so thanks again for indulging me...
I do really very much appreciate it.
By the way...here in Australia...we spell some words differently than you do.....
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CAN YOU DIG IT ?
Perhaps I should wait for a better time to begin.
I wish that one of those spontaneous moments of inspiration would arrive right now. I think I may have had one of those moments the other night, when I was having difficulty falling asleep. However it was too late and too cold to bother getting out of bed and also, I didn’t want to wake my wife, who somewhat frustratingly, always seems to fall asleep so much easier and faster than I do.
Sadly I’m a wriggler. I toss and turn, to the left, to the right, back to the left, then face down and then I begin the whole rigmarole over and over again before I finally succumb to the pleasures of my hard earned slumber.
Ah, blessed sleep, one of life’s simple pleasures.
I do believe that I’ve heard it said that a good night’s sleep can lead to us waking full of vigour and with renewed inspiration and purpose.
Oh well, I guess that experience tells me that inspiration and purpose, can also sometimes be found, with the effort of a little digging.
When I was a child I loved to have a little dig outside in the garden, probably most children do.
A little dig in a little garden, with a little spade, is a big thing, to a little kid.
Did you ever help to dig into the soil of a garden ?
No doubt, the simple pleasure of being outside in the fresh air is in itself a good and healthy thing.
Perhaps being outside and away from the confines of our four walls opens us to all sorts of incredible possibility.
Who knows what we might find ?
Did you ever find a rusty old coin somewhere outside in your yard when you were having a little dig ?
Did you ever wonder who had dropped it and how and when did it get there, lost in your little garden or on your lawn?
Do you remember the sound the spade would make as it crunched into the tender earth and do you remember the feel of the soil turning and separating at your effort.
Do you recall your excitement and surprise at the unexpected sight of the frenzied thrashings of an earthworm who was suddenly revealed thrashing there amongst the soil?
The poor little earthworm whose tightly packed, moist wet and dark existence, had just been turned inside out, by our incredibly vast and oh so bright parallel world. When I was a little boy I absolutely loved worms.
Now though quite properly, I never really think about worms much at all.
To be honest with you the thought of one, held cupped and wriggling in the palm of my hand, is actually quite ghastly.
How strange, not just my changing feelings about worms but that we should be talking about them at all.
That money that we found, yes yes you as well,
where did it come from and where did it go. It has just occurred to me that those worms could well be sitting on a fortune.
No wonder they thrash about.
Hark that worm doth protest too much.
Yes, yes my new friend, start to dig and you may well find inspiration.
I think that in order for us to move forward we must first learn to accept the past.
I think that it’s funny to consider that familiar cry of alarm “look out behind you”, when it’s actually what’s ahead of us that requires our true concern.
The physicality of the past, whose subatomic form, had bound ever so briefly and momentarily together, has now changed.
Its physical presence, having achieved its order and purpose, has ceased to be.
Its molecules have now been dispersed and reassigned.
What then, is our past?
Is it a memory?
Is it a photograph or a persistent dream?
Is it a feeling, perhaps a feeling so strong, that it influences who we chose to be?
I was dreadfully shy as a child. In fact my first three, end of year school report cards, referred to me as bashful.
The definition of that word is “shy, self conscious and awkward in the presence of others”.
I also had great difficulty in learning certain things and I often found myself looking out of the classroom window at the little birds in the trees, day dreaming.
Perhaps today I would be classified as suffering from Asperger’s Syndrome or perhaps even from a form of A.D.H.D.
I wish that I could go back in time and speak with that little boy and give him the comfort of my experience.
What an enigma, I don’t really remember the little fellow and yet sometimes still,
he’s right here with me, telling me just how I should feel.
Perhaps I would say something to him like,
“I understand that you’re scared and confused little fellah but don’t you worry, I’m here now and I’ll look after you”.
Memory can be a vague and dubious thing, but sitting here with you now
I seem to remember somewhere along the line, watching some other kid doing an hilarious Elvis Presley impersonation.
I probably bashfully looked on, as the other kids roared with laughter.
“Carpe Diem” seize the day, or for me it was seize the moment.
People who made other people laugh were popular.
This insightful piece of information was to affect who I would become.
I’m not sure of exactly why but for some reason I was taken for regular visits to a child psychologist. I think that this went on for a few years whilst I was still a little boy. I didn’t mind too much as it meant that my Mother would keep me out of school for the day and take me to the large office building where the psychologists offices were located. It just so happened that downstairs in the very same building there just happened to be a magic shop.
The practical joke and novelty section of the magic shop went on to serve as my very own personal Nirvana. I would armour and equip myself with every funny thing I could find. Vampire teeth, fake blood, hand buzzers, fake vomit, fake dog pooh, foaming sugar, Groucho glasses, every imaginable prop an aspiring clown could need.
Do you remember those skeleton hand coffin style moneyboxes? Oh such joy.
I took to it like a duck to water. This awkward fat shy little boy had found someone better to become.
This new funny fat little boy, had no time for bashfulness, he was far too busy performing. I was becoming a funny fat little someone, and I liked it.
I remember watching television shows that featured other funny kids and I used to think “that’s like me”. I wanted to be Danny Partridge from the Partridge Family, but enough about that as you probably now get the general idea.
By the way, thanks for reading this. I asked you earlier but who are you, anyway?
Do you think that most of us are pretty much the same at heart?
I guess the term “at heart” implies deep inside, at our core.
This would leave all of our external layers, which often contribute to make us all quite different from each other. I wonder if perhaps underneath all of our hurts and resentments, do we all just want a peaceful, happy and peaceful existence?
How do we go about achieving a good, happy, peaceful existence?
“Do unto others” is probably a good place to start however I have heard some people, through their fear, say ”do it to others before they do it to you”.
It’s easy to dismiss fear as a weakness of character but some people have good reason to feel fearful.
Fear can be sensible but knowing when and how to stop feeling it is even more sensible. On the subject of fear, I believe most bullies are scared.
They will never usually admit to it, until you make them cry.
But let’s not go there.
But but but, are you even allowed to start a sentence with a but?
I don’t think you are.
Will people criticise and make fun of my but.
Oh how I love a double entendre.
Does my butt look big in this?
Seriously though, fear of criticism should not stop you trying whatever it is that you want to do. In fact lets both feel outraged together, on behalf of all the good and decent people of the world, who have had something really great to contribute but who were too scared to try, because of the bullies who were ready to criticise them. Sadly I have also no doubt done my own share of bullying and criticising, and for that I am deeply ashamed.
It seems that I am now telling you my story and I am sure that we are both aware that every good story must have a beginning, a middle and an end.
So please allow me now to take you back to the beginning of my story, way back and earlier even, than my appointments with my child psychologist, although in such a similar and clinically expected fashion, perhaps I shall begin with the words
“it all started when I was a little boy”.
Okay.....that's all for now.....
take care of yourself....and lets try to be the best people we can be....
who knows what we might achieve.
Peace,Love and lots of laughter xx
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